The room is cheap, the furnishings stark.
The florescent light is so damn dark.
When I look up, I fill with fear.
The end of this hand is drawing near,
this lonely table, a troubled place,
their cold dead stares, dealer's empty face.
Well, I see no reason to persevere,
no reason to laugh or shed a tear,
no reason to ponder or even to wait,
no cards to come, it's much too late.
And so this night I will raise my eyes
to imagine the clear but mysterious skies
that arch above us, so far from sin.
Are you there Q cuz I'm goin' all in?
Bluffers Prayer : A Poker Poem
Lord let me be as a cool window pane set in a church door.
The breath of the hopeful fogging my surface,
While I remain transparent to their sight.
So that I might condense fact
From the vapor of nuance,
Both in their faces and words.
Give me vision into their hearts and minds,
As they spill their prayers on your alter.
Let me be your alterboy in the poker room,
So that I may gather their donations,
Like the whale strains krill from the sea.
What glory for those busted out as dead money?
Requiem for WSOP Dead Money
The clatter from their departing former chips.
Only the death rattle mutters of “nice hand”,
Will patter out the losers' heartbroken trips.
No mockeries now for them; no prayers nor bells;
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,
The shrill, demented choirs of frustration’s hell;
And their hearts' despair of lost lifelong desire.
What applause may be given to speed them all?
Not from the hands of hopeful fans but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of unsaid goodbyes.
The pallor of railbirds’ brows shall be their pall;
Their trophy the tenderness of patient minds.
They all know that they have given their all,
And each new deal brings a posting of the blinds.
Why Do Professional Poker Players Still Live with Their Moms?
(And I don't mean you, Daniel Negreanu, so don't call to complain!)
In other words, professional poker works pretty much like the standard capitalist enterprise: you have to be near the top of the pyramid to make a big wage. Notwithstanding the media's rhetoric about the million's of dollars available and the glamour of poker stardom, a player's "wages" are about as skewed as wages in corporate America. A low level pro has plenty in common with a McDonald's burger flipper or a Wal-Mart shelf stocker. In fact, most players also hold other jobs in the legitimate sector to supplement their skimpy poker earnings. Most low level pros make aproximately minimum wage for every hour at the poker tables. And how many burger flippers end up with less money than they started with as a result of flipping burgers?
Consider the cost of a weekend playing poker in Las Vegas:Flight: $440
2 Nights at MGM Grand: $450
Shuttle to the MGM: $9
Fri. Nite Dinner and Drinks: $50
Two breakfasts: $22
Bar: $12
Monorail Passes: $26
2 Hookers: $370
Saturday dinner and Drinks for 2: $50
Taxis: $32
Various Other Food/Snack/Drinks: $50
Long-Term Parking at airport: $24
Total:$1,535.
How many minimum wage earners can afford that?
Along with the bad pay and high cost, poker players face terrible job conditions. For starters, they have to sit in a poker room all day and "do business" with other players. Little or no family life, back problems, bad diet, hemorrhoids and the stink of smoke are some of the side benefits of sitting for 10 hour stretches at a poker table. Playing in home-games you also risk arrest and, more worrisome, violence.
Professional poker player s have a 1-in-2 chance of divorce and a 1-in-30 chance of fatal heart attack! Compare these odds to being a timber cutter, which the Bureau of Labor Statistics calls the most dangerous job in the United States. Over four years' time, a timber cutter would stand only a 1-in-200 chance of being killed. Or compare the poker player s odds to those of a death row inmate in Texas, which executes more prisoners than any other state. In 2003, Texas put to death twenty-four inmates-or just 5 percent of the nearly 500 inmates on its death row during that time. Which means that you stand a greater chance of dying while playing in this year's World Series of Poker than you do while sitting on death row in Texas. So if professional poker playing is the most dangerous job in America, and if the salary is near minimum wage, why on earth would anyone take such a job???
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